Train Life: Chapter 5

Good morning. Welcome back to that Train Life.

Today, I've begun my observations early. Even before you get on the train, there are definite characters that emerge at the shelter. Some classic types that I have observed in my two decades of commuting are:

• The Doorway Hoggers - obviously experts at the Hokey, Cokey; they won't actually come into the  the shelter itself, but they don't want to stand outside either. So they hover in the doorway, making it impossible for anyone to get in without dancing around them. They're determined to be first on the train, so when the train comes, you won't get past them until they're good and ready to move.
• The Drama Students - ok, so they may not actually be studying drama, but they sure know how to project their voices. 'Private conversation' is a concept unfamiliar to them. Brian Blessed would envy their ability to ensure that everyone in the shelter (and within a two mile radius) can hear every syllable of their conversations.
• The Non-Commuter - they don't normally travel at this time of day. They're taken aback by the number of people waiting for the train. They're carrying at least three highly impractical luggage items. Every two minutes they exclaim how busy it is, and ask if there's something big happening today, not quite able to believe this is normal. This constant refrain is only interrupted by them asking over and over if they're at the right platform and asking person after person if this train stops at their desired station. You want to help them, and they're sweet; but sweet very quickly turns to sickly. So, you can only take these in small measures.
• The So What Smokers - Unlike the Sensible Smokers, who finish and dispose of their cigarette at the bin just outside the station entrance, this lot apparently can't read. Despite the signs stating it is an offence to smoke on any part of the station, they freely light up either while standing in the shelter doorway, with their cigarette- holding hand out of the shelter, or while waiting on the platform. Even if you ask them not to smoke, they look at you in seeming incomprehension. It would appear that not only can't they read, but they don't understand the spoken word either. Maybe there's a niche opportunity to offer literacy classes to this group!