Well, hello there - get comfy and I'll update you on the latest in Train Life, and a couple more of our cast of characters.
We'll start with the type I call The Inseparables. Obviously, these come in a twin pack, sometimes a couple, sometimes just two friends. They'll sit together on the train, chatting away. So far, so normal. The odd behaviour comes when they get off the train. They'll step out of the door next to each other, not behind each other. I'm sure that would work out fine on a midday quiet train, but on a busy commuter train it means the people they pass inevitably get hit by their bags, or squashed into the wall. The insistence on togetherness continues as they join the queue for the ticket gates (meaning you can often mistake them for the Commitmentphobes, as it's not clear which queue at least one of them is on). It carries on as they go up the escalator. The 'stand on the right' signs mean nothing to them. They stand together, taking up the full width of the escalator, meaning no one can get past them. They round off their performance with their goodbye dance in the station, when the crowds are milling round and the Inseparables suddenly stop and stand still, forcing the crowd to part and go round them. It's lovely that they still have so much to say to each other after the 45 minute train ride. Trains and crowds can't part them - that's real friendship/love!
Next, meet the Space Invaders. You've guessed by their name what this lot do. They cannot confine themselves to a seat, and behave with the assurance that the train belongs to them and the existence of other people is optional - they will happily ignore bunches of people standing in the doorway and aisles as they take up the maximum amount of space possible. I do wonder if they are alien overlords and so have an unerring belief that pesky humans don't count!
Anyway, I present to you the evidence, m'lud.
Exhibit 1: this young lady insisted on a seat for her bags, despite the fact that people were standing. She had a further bag which had been on the seat opposite these bags, and which I firmly asked her to move so I could sit down. She put it on the floor in front of my feet. Her lack of consideration extended further as her legs were crossed at a diagonal angle, pointing outwards as she swung them back and forth, meaning she kicked my leg every minute or so. There was someone next to me on the outside of my row, so I couldn't move out of the way. However, Space Invader that she is, she must have been too busy getting commands from the Master Spaceship on that alien technology masquerading as a phone, to notice the impact she was having on everyone else. Poor soul, I do hope they come back to take her home soon.
Exhibit 2: this male sat on the outside of a double seat row (leaving the inside seat occupied by his rucksack). No issue as it was quieter and no one was standing. However, he then proceeded to put his disgusting trainer on the seat. After this he then put his other shoe on the next seat, not only manspreading over a grand total of 4 seats, but leaving huge dirty marks on the seats.
Till next time!
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